Nevermore

Once upon a midnight Drury, sitting East, distraught with fury,
Over many a quaint and curious lead, deserving of a minus score,
While I nodded, nearly napping, trumps he leads instead of tapping.

Then it happened, to my horror, suits I bid he leads no more.
“Is he void?” I pondered truly, “If not in suit, cerebral core?”
Only this, and nothing more.

Ah, distinctly I remember, that idiot West I could dismember,
As each separate dreadful lead, sent grief no one could e’er ignore.
Eagerly I wished the morrow. Take me from this pain and sorrow!

Then the moron started clapping, laughing, dancing on the floor.
“‘Tis bridge in Hell!” I shouted madly, racing to the chamber door.
Fritzed again, but nevermore.

I have some good news and some bad news. The good news: If you play just six hands, your partner will cherish you forever. The bad news: Your partner is Fritz.

Bidding is Standard American (except as noted). For a reference, see my summary of Standard American Bridge. Assume declarer is an expert. Fritz is an idiot, of course; but assume he won’t do anything stupid after his lead.

*First prize is a one-week vacation with Fritz in the Black Forest (choice of double or twin beds); second prize is two weeks; third, three weeks, etc. Winners must be at least 18 years of age and gormless. Void where permitted by law.

Problem 1

West Fritz Pass Dbl Pass

North Pass 2 ¹ 2 3

East You Pass Pass 3

South 1 2 ² Pass

1. Drury
2. Light opening

3 by South

	Q 9 8 6 A 8 7 10 2 K 10 7 2
		K 10 4 J 9 5 2 J 6 5 A Q J

Fritz leads the  2; nine, 10, jack. South next leads the  4; five, king, ace.

Your next lead:    4    J    2    J    5    Q

Problem 2

West Fritz Pass All Pass

North 2

East You 1 2

South Pass 3 NT

3 NT by South

	10 K 3 K Q J 9 5 Q 10 7 5 4
		A Q J 9 8 3 A 8 7 4 2 K J

Fritz leads the  J; king, ace, two. Your defense? (Fritz follows to  A.)

1. Win  A; lead  Q
2. Win  A; lead  8
3. Lead the  Q
4. Lead  8; if wins,  A
5. Lead  8; if wins,  Q
6. Lead  8; if wins,  7

Problem 3

West Fritz Pass All Pass

North 1

East You Pass

South 1 1 NT

1 NT by South

	10 9 4 J 10 9 8 5 K 4 A 10 5
		K Q A 6 3 10 9 7 2 K J 9 8

Fritz leads the  A; four, king, two; then continues with the  5; nine, queen, jack.

Your next lead:    A    3    10    2    K    J

Problem 4

West Fritz Pass Pass

North 1 3 NT

East You Pass All Pass

South 2 NT

3 NT by South

	J 4 3 A K Q J 8 J 5 10 7 2
		10 8 7 2 9 7 5 3 A 4 A J 8

Fritz leads the  10; ace, three, four. Declarer leads the  J. Your defense? (If you win  A, South plays  2, Fritz  6.)

1. Win  A; lead  8
2. Win  A; lead  2
3. Win  A; lead  5
4. Win  A; lead  J
5. Win  A; lead  8
6. Duck (play  4)

Problem 5

West Fritz 5 All Pass

North 1 5

East You 2 Pass

South 4 6 *

*with Fritz on lead, why not?

6 by South

	A K 7 6 5 K 9 J 4 3 K Q 3
		Q 10 2 A 2 K Q 10 8 7 J 7 4

Fritz leads the  A, ruffed with  5. South leads  6 to the king. Your defense? (Fritz follows twice in hearts.)

1. Win  A; lead  Q
2. Win  A; lead  2
3. Win  A; lead  K
4. Duck; win  A; lead  Q
5. Duck; win  A; lead  K
6. Duck; win  A; lead  J

Problem 6

West Fritz 3 4

North Dbl 5

East You 1 Pass All Pass

South 3 Pass

5 by South

	A K Q 8 5 A J 8 J 10 9 J 2
		9 4 2 K 10 6 2 A 2 A K 8 4

Fritz leads the  J. South discards  9-3 on  A-K then leads the  J. Your defense? (If you win  A, Fritz plays  K.)

1. Win  A; lead  9
2. Win  A; lead  2
3. Win  A; lead  2
4. Win  A; lead  A
5. Win  A; lead  4
6. Duck (play  2)

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