Humor 7Z85 Main

Bridge for Morons

by Drahcir Kecilvap

Even YOU can learn bridge!

Does bridge seem way over your head? Do you have trouble writing your own name? Then this is the course for you! Teaching a complex game to those with a simple mind was thought to be impossible. Not any more! I guarantee I can make you a bridge player.

So build up your courage and enter now. You can do it!

Are you ready to learn bridge?

I’m ready, let’s go!

Not now, thank you

Lesson 1

The card to the left is an Ace.
Hint: It rhymes with Vase.

Study it closely until you think you know what it looks like.

Take as much time as you need.

Can you remember what it looks like?

Yes! I think I can. Quiz me!

Sorry, this is beyond me

Quiz on Lesson 1

Carefully study the pictures below, and take your time:

Which one is the ace?

The one on the left

The one in the middle

The one on the right

None of the above

Wrong answer

But you were close!

Let me try again

Let me outta here!

Lesson 2

You found it!

Having mastered Lesson 1 so quickly, you must have potential.

Now I’ve got something new to teach you, so pay close attention:

An ace is the highest card.Boy, it’s really high up here!

Do you understand that?

Yes I do! Quiz me on it!

Sorry, this is way over my head

Quiz on Lesson 2

Good decision!
You’re well on your way to becoming a bridge player.

Remember what you just learned, and take your time.

Complete the following sentence:

An ace is…

a vase to put flowers in.

the lowest card in history.

the highest card in bridge.

the place with the helpful hardware man.

Not right

That was tough so don’t feel bad

Give me another chance

Lesson 3

Well done!
Very few get this far, so I’m really proud of you!

Warning: This lesson requires counting to four

An ace is worth 4 points. Count ‘em… 1, 2, 3, 4.

Four is big! Can you grasp it?

I can count that high! Quiz me!

No, I’m still working on three

Quiz on Lesson 3

That took courage!

You’re almost a bridge player now.

Take your time, and don’t be afraid of big numbers.

Complete the following sentence:

An ace is worth…

five dollars and 55 cents.

Almost got it

You didn’t think carefully

I’d like one more chance

See you later, pal!

Congratulations!

You’re a bridge player now!

Practice what you learned, and next month I will teach you about Kings.

Humor 7Z85 Main Top Bridge for Morons

© 1993 Drahcir Kecilvap